


To My Playground

by Stina0098



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - High School, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, a lot of kissing and markhyuck being general dorks, haechan being sassy but what is new under the sun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 08:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stina0098/pseuds/Stina0098
Summary: Donghyuck is not a jealous person, but there is something about other people wanting to get close to Mark Lee that makes something inside him twist uncomfortably.Or alternatively, Donghyuck grows up and realizes that his feelings for Mark might not be as platonic as he’d always thought.





	To My Playground

**Author's Note:**

> a small clarification: this story is set in the korean school system, which means that Donghyuck is 17/18 when he begins high school. due to the small reason of me having three brain cells though, the school-year begins in fall instead of January so...yeah. 
> 
> pls enjoy!

Donghyuck is many things, but he is not particularly jealous.

He doesn’t really care if he’s not the owner of the most expensive shoes in his school, if the person sitting next to him in class scores better on a test, or if Jeno and Jaemin make plans without him.

Donghyuck is not a jealous person, but there is something about other people wanting to get close to Mark Lee that makes something inside him twist uncomfortably.

The two of them meet when Donghyuck is six and Mark’s family moves in next door in a flurry of motion that makes him stare curiously out of his kitchen window at the large moving truck parked in the driveway. Canadians, his mother says, with a son only one year older than him, and between his mother being busy trying to take care of a newborn baby and striking up an easy friendship with Mark’s mother, Mark is tasked with keeping an eye on Donghyuck while he plays in the playground close to their home.

His first impression of Mark is that he hardly looks like he is the older one out of the two of them, the only thing betraying their difference in age being the fact that Mark is a few centimetres taller. He looks kind of awkward, stuttering out his name with a Korean that is heavy with a Canadian accent, and Donghyuck’s first reaction is to hide from him because he is six and figures that that would be more fun than playing on the swings while Mark awkwardly looks on.

He hides behind a plank that he and the other children sometimes climb, peeking through the gaps as Mark gets a worried look on his face, round eyes looking around nervously in search for him. Donghyuck waits, expecting him to find him easily since the playground isn’t that big, but with Mark not being familiar with the area he doesn’t seem to know where to start. After a few minutes pass Mark tries to climb the slide, probably hoping to get a better view of the playground from higher ground and accidentally slips, falling from the staircase and scratching his knees badly.

Donghyuck freezes, worried both by the red he can see staining Mark’s knees and from knowing that Mark will probably stomp home angrily and rat him out to their parents.

It comes as a surprise when Mark doesn’t head home straight away, simply seeming a bit troubled as he tries to brush himself off and continues searching for Donghyuck until Donghyuck decides to stop hiding and comes forward, feeling more than a little guilty.

Donghyuck makes an effort to be nicer to Mark after that even though he is clumsy to a fault, uses strange Korean expressions and has eyes that are way too round to ever intimidate anyone.

He doesn’t even mind the knowing look his mom sends him when he asks if he can go over to Mark’s house after dinner and watch a movie, having decided out of the kindness of his heart that he was going to become friends with the older and teach him everything he needed to know about their neighbourhood.

It is a year later, on the same playground, that Donghyuck realises that Mark Lee has the potential to make him jealous when a younger girl walks up to Mark and asks if he could push her on the swing, linking arms with him like it’s nothing.

It causes Donghyuck, who had been in the middle of digging a pit, to look up with a frown.

He expects Mark to decline her request as their eyes meet, the small frown on Mark’s face letting him know that he doesn’t want to leave, but Mark is Mark and kind to a fault and before long he is dragged away by the girl who looks like he might as well have agreed to marry her.

Donghyuck glares at them both.

Mark is _his_ hyung, not the girl’s. If she wants someone to push her on the swing then she can find someone else.

Donghyuck changes his pit to become a pitfall, covering it with leaves in hopes of hiding its existence, and spends the rest of the day trying to get the girl to trip over it.

His day doesn’t improve when he gets home and realises that he won’t be going to the same classes as Mark despite finally being old enough to attend the same primary school.

“Why can’t Mark and I be in the same grade?” He whines to his mother when he gets home from the first school day, disheartened. He had thought that going to school meant that he would get to spend a lot of time with Mark, but so far, they had only seen each other briefly over lunch.

His mother chuckles, looking at him with a warm gaze.

“Because Mark’s a year older than you and already knows everything you’re going to learn this year.”

“Then I want to go to Mark’s class,” he decides. “It can’t be that difficult.”

He thinks of Mark, at how he blinks at Donghyuck with confused eyes when Donghyuck says a Korean word he doesn’t know. If they went to the same class Mark could help him with English and Donghyuck could help him with his Korean. Donghyuck’s teacher had said that he was smart, so surely skipping a year couldn’t be that difficult, could it?

When he says so his mother simply ruffles his hair, and though Donghyuck still hates the fact that he can’t be in the same classes as Mark, it doesn’t take too long before he befriends a few other people in his year.

He sits next to Jaemin, who is best friends with Jeno, and before he knows it the three of them have formed a little a trio, getting in trouble during recess but acting like angels when their teacher shows up.

He saves his lunches for Mark despite his newfound friends, latching on to him and stealing sausages from his lunch box when he isn’t looking, but it doesn’t take long before Jeno and Jaemin get curious about the Canadian boy Donghyuck always talks about and decide to crash one of their lunches much to Donghyuck’s chagrin.

“Do you speak English?” Jeno asks, impressed.

Mark laughs awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

“I guess? It was the only thing I spoke in Canada.”

“You don’t look Canadian,” Jaemin pipes up and Donghyuck kicks him beneath the table.

“You don’t look like you have the IQ of a fish,” Donghyuck replies.

Jaemin pouts, trying to figure out if he had been insulted, but continues asking Mark questions and making him teach them how to say random words in English. The lunch ends quicker than Donghyuck wants it to, not even having had the time to show Mark the new Pokémon card he had won. He expects things to go back to normal the next day, but Jeno and Jaemin follow him out of the classroom despite his complains, and while Donghyuck loves his friends, he loves them a little less when they cling to Mark like he’s the coolest person on earth.

Some of the jealousy fades when Mark is over at his house later that evening, Donghyuck neglecting doing his homework in favour of watching Mark fiddle with the guitar Mark had received for Christmas. He is still in a little bit of a bad mood, and he thinks Mark picks up on it because while he rarely lets Donghyuck as much as look at the guitar, he hands it over to Donghyuck carefully, asking if he wants him to teach him how to play a new chord he just learned.

Donghyuck stares at Mark, eyes wide.

“Really?”

Mark nods, expression kind, and Donghyuck swallows, wondering why his chest feels unexplainably warm.

“Hold your hands like this,” he instructs, and Donghyuck tries to copy the way Mark folds his fingers. It doesn’t sound quite as good as when Mark plays the instrument himself, but for a first try Mark says that it doesn’t sound bad at all.

Mark continues teaching him how to play the instrument for a while longer until his mother comes and knocks on the door, telling Mark that his parents had just called and said that it was time for him to go home.

Mark nods, telling her that he’ll be down in a second.

Donghyuck watches as he packs up his things, nibbling on his lip.

“Even if Jaemin and Jeno join us for lunch, we’re still best friends, right?” He asks and feels uncharacteristically shy.

Despite their secret handshake, the extra toothbrush Donghyuck has in Mark’s bathroom and having known each other for almost two years, it’s the first time he’s ever called Mark his best friend.

He wonders if Mark can pick up on the unspoken “I’ll still be your best friend, right?” and then wonders why he cares so much when he knows that he is someone who can easily make new friends. Wonders why if feels strange to label Mark as his best friend when it clearly doesn’t do justice to the relationship he and Mark have.

Best friends can come and go, but despite the fact that he and Mark argue regularly –mostly because Donghyuck can’t stop himself from annoying Mark when he is bored— they are a constant.

They are Mark and Donghyuck.

They’re special.

“Of course,” Mark says, and looks a little pink himself. “You’re Donghyuck. You’re…it’s different.”

Donghyuck nods, trying not to look like he is too happy, but falls asleep with a small smile on his face. He isn’t quite as bothered when Jeno and Jaemin joining them for lunch becomes normal, or even when their lunches stretch to include the new kid Renjun and then at times Jisung and Chenle. He knows that despite the others clinging to Mark, he and Mark are a permanent duo.

Donghyuck writes his feelings off as normal, as a case of simply not wanting to always share his best friend, and doesn’t think about why someone else stealing Mark’s attention rubs him the wrong way until the summer before Mark starts high school.

Donghyuck returns from his trip to visit his grandmother in Jeju in the evening the day before school starts back up again, rolling his suitcase into his room and then opening his window and throwing the small pebbles he had gathered against Mark’s window. Their rooms are neither level nor right in front of each other, but they do face each other and Donghyuck has learned over the years how to aim so that the pebbles reach Mark’s window.

The lights are off inside Mark’s room but he had texted that he was going to be at home, and while Donghyuck is always an angel and knows that Mark needs his beauty sleep, he also thinks that Mark can get his ass out of bed when they haven’t seen each other in over a month.

He waits for a few seconds with bated breath, but then the lights turn on and the blinds are drawn, revealing Mark in pyjamas with messy hair. Mark blinks at him sleepily and Donghyuck grins, pointing in the direction of the playground and not giving Mark a chance to protest before he draws the curtains and heads out.

It’s when Mark joins him on the swings that he realises that more things have changed over the summer than simply the weather.

Mark’s hair has grown longer, falling just short of his eyes, and it’s with a bit of surprise that Donghyuck notes that he looks a bit more mature now than he had before he had left, some of the baby fat having disappeared from his cheeks. The clothes he wears are new as well, Donghyuck usually recognizing everything in Mark’s closet.

“Took you long enough.” Donghyuck says, because he doesn’t really know what to make of the sudden feeling in his chest. For some reason Mark feels a bit like a stranger, Donghyuck not knowing how to close the sudden distance between them.

Donghyuck had been excited about going to Jeju, not having been there since they moved when he was a little child, but once he had gotten there he had been nothing short of miserable. Despite getting to spend time with his grandmother and family, he kept thinking that he was missing out on spending his last summer together with Mark before they’d be separated for another year.

By the startled face Mark had made when he’d told him that he was spending the summer in Jeju and by the surprisingly many text messages Mark had sent him while he was away, he had guessed that Mark had also felt unnerved by their sudden separation.

It had been the longest they had been apart since they had first met; the first summer they hadn’t spent together lounging about and playing in the local pool.

Mark blinks at him sleepily, wearing the round glasses that make him look a bit like Harry Potter, and Donghyuck feels his breath catch.

He tries to get his beating heart under control as Mark sits down on the swing next to his.

“I thought you were coming back before dinner.” Mark says. “I was planning on ordering sushi to celebrate.”

“The flight got delayed.”

Mark hums, scanning his face openly with a small smile on his face.

“I got you a birthday gift.” Donghyuck says only to have something to say, and Mark looks at him warily.

“Another ketchup bottle?”

“How’d you know?” He deadpans, but reaches into the plastic bag he’d brought and pulls out the gift.

Mark opens it, revealing a pair of headphones.

Surprise colours his expression, and Donghyuck feels a little bad for giving Mark so many horrible gifts that he is surprised that he actually managed a decent one. The gifts Mark give him are usually thoughtful ones, if not a little patronizing like the bible he had received for Christmas a year ago, but even then, Mark had written him a long letter that had kind of made up for it.

“They’re mostly for me,” Donghyuck explains, because he’s Donghyuck and he would rather die than tell Mark that he’d actually saved up for the gift. “Since I hate sharing headphones with you when your other headphones sound like they are from 18th century.”

Mark turns to him, and when he looks at him like that, eyes warm and expressive, Donghyuck doesn’t feel like time has passed. He feels like they are still children, and Mark had laughed until he had gotten tears in his eyes from something Donghyuck had said and Donghyuck had felt like he was on top of the world.

“Thank you.” Mark says, and his gaze doesn’t waver. “I’ll cherish them.”

Donghyuck has to look away.

“It’s whatever.”

The strange feeling that had passed between the two of them fades away, Donghyuck going back to annoying Mark like normal. When morning comes he leaves for school, not accompanied by Mark for the first time in a while, and decides that he needs to drink more milk after meeting Jeno and Jaemin and noticing that they’ve both grown several centimetres taller over the summer.

He and Mark still meet up several times a week, but between Mark being busy with school and joining the basketball team and Donghyuck being coerced into joining the dance team by Jisung, it isn’t nearly as often as he would like.

Things change for Donghyuck in school as well, because while he had always been popular, perks of being funny, his popularity skyrockets when drinking all the milk pays of and he grows taller and his shoulders fill out. When he speaks to girls they blush, and after he gets his first confession one Thursday afternoon in November they keep on coming. He doesn’t receive quite as many confessions as Jaemin, who dyes his hair white much to their teachers’ frustration and becomes some sort of school idol, but it’s close.

When the school year ends and they transfer to high school, their popularity doesn’t seem to waver and he, Jeno and Jaemin get invited to go to a noraebang by some seniors after the first week is over.

Jeno and Jaemin agree, texting Renjun to ask he wants to come as well, but Donghyuck blows them off.

“Sorry, I have plans.”

“Mark?” Jeno asks, and Donghyuck nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Yeah, he said he would wait for me so that we could go home together.”

“Mark Lee? On the basketball team?”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at the person who had asked the question. The name on his uniform lets Donghyuck know that his name is Wong Yukhei, and from the large smile on his face, Donghyuck guesses that he probably considers Mark to be his friend.

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t expect you two to be friends. You seem kind of different,” Yukhei says, smile still on his face.

He obviously doesn’t mean it as an insult, but for some reason his comment rubs Donghyuck the wrong way.

There is a part of him that also finds it a bit unsettling that no one besides Jeno and Jaemin knows that he and Mark are close. In middle school almost everyone had known that they were best friends, mostly because they always used to eat lunch together, but with none of their lunches matching this year that tradition had fallen through and so apparently the knowledge that they even as much as knew each other.

Donghyuck opens his mouth, annoyed, but Jaemin reads his expression and cuts in before he has the chance to reply, pushing him towards the door.

Mark waits for him by the entrance, busy fiddling with his phone and wearing the headphones that Donghyuck had given him. When he sees Donghyuck he brightens up, smile lighting up his face, but when he sees Donghyuck’s scowl it fades.

“What’s up?” He asks when they are within talking distance.

“Nothing,” Donghyuck replies, because there is no way he is telling Mark the reason for his bad mood. “I guess seeing you just put me in a bad mood.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Donghyuck links arms with Mark, and feels his mood improve a little.

“Let’s go watch a movie.” Donghyuck says.

“I have homework,” Mark says, still looking a bit ruffled.

“You can do it later. We haven’t hung out in forever.”

“We hung out the day before yesterday,” Mark replies and Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“Like I said.”

They settle on Mark’s bed since his family had allowed him to take the old television up to his room after they’d bought a new one, logging on to Netflix and ending up watching some action movie that isn’t too difficult to follow.

Donghyuck doesn’t really pay much attention to the movie, thinking about how strange it is that Mark’s room has always had a calming effect on him. It’s a boring room by all means, Mark never having been one for interior design, and in comparison to Donghyuck’s own room it is surprisingly spartan. Except for the picture of the two of them taken a few years ago on Halloween and the few Spiderman action figures he has standing on his desk, the room doesn’t have a lot of decoration.

Mark even sleeps in the same bed he used to sleep in when he was much younger, proven by the fact that the it feels a lot smaller now than it had when they were pre-teens. Back then the two of them used to sleep in it with no problems, but now it groans under their joined weight.

Donghyuck tries to make himself comfortable on the mattress and accidentally pokes Mark in the waist, causing Mark to let out a small yelp and push Donghyuck, hands coming up to grip his arms.

Donghyuck expects him to push him away until he is firmly on the opposite side of the bed, but to his surprise Mark doesn’t use any force and Donghyuck remains in the same spot.

“Have you been working out?” Mark asks, and while Donghyuck knows that Mark has noticed his body changing by the way Mark stares at him when he thinks he isn’t paying attention, it’s the first time Mark has ever addressed it.

Donghyuck wonders why the arm Mark is holding on to suddenly tingles.

“Just been doing push ups with Jeno at dance practice,” He explains. “I bet I’m even stronger than you now.”

“Doubt it,” Mark says, but there is an odd tilt to his voice and his eyes keep going back to Donghyuck’s arm.

Donghyuck smiles evilly, struck by a sudden idea, and Mark realises his mistake too late as Donghyuck struggles to get on top of him. They used to wrestle when they were younger, even though Mark rarely entertained him, too calm and worried about accidentally hurting Donghyuck to ever put much strength into it. Mark just usually tried to avoid him when he wanted to wrestle, but when they did he usually won.

Donghyuck receives an elbow to his side and makes a sound that is half a groan and half a laugh, previous annoyance gone.

They tumble for a minute or two before Donghyuck gives up, laughing, and when he looks, Mark has a smile on his face that betrays his annoyed huffs.

The brawl has caused his shirt to ride up, revealing a lean and creamy waist.

The movie they are watching switches to a scene where the main-character and his love interest tear each other’s clothes off in a hotel room, and Donghyuck suddenly feels painfully aware that both him and Mark are laying on a bed. Feels painfully aware that a handful of people in his year have already done more on beds that simply sleeping in them, eighteen-year-olds with hormones running wild.

His eyes linger on the small patch of skin Mark’s shirt has revealed, and while Donghyuck has seen Mark’s upper body before, for some reason it feels different now.

Before he really knows what he is doing he lets his hand move towards Mark.

Mark flinches, probably expecting another attack, but Donghyuck simply lets his fingers ghost over his skin, over his abdomen. Mark’s skin feels soft, muscles clenching under his touch, and Donghyuck’s thumb rubs barely there circles over it.

Donghyuck is fascinated, allowing his fingers to slowly brush over Mark’s hipbones.

“Donghyuck?” Mark asks, softly.

Donghyuck doesn’t answer, doesn’t even look up to see what sort of expression he is making.

After a moment of hesitation, he allows his hand to slip under Mark’s t-shirt where the t-shirt hadn’t ridden up.

Mark’s breath hitches, and Donghyuck’s hand halts, but Mark doesn’t tell him to stop.

When he dares himself to look up, Mark is staring at him with an expression Donghyuck has never seen on his face before but knows that he wants to see again.

When Mark unknowingly licks his lips, his attention is drawn towards his mouth and the air changes between the two of them, charged with something that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago.

A door suddenly slams downstairs and seconds later Mark’s mother’s voice calls out.

“I’m home! I brought dinner!”

Donghyuck tears his hand away from Mark’s stomach and Mark sits up quickly.

“I’ll be right there!” Mark calls out, and his voice breaks a bit on the last word.

Mark doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Let’s go have dinner.”

Donghyuck stays on the bed for a few seconds even after Mark has disappeared from the room, letting his head hit the pillow with a small groan, entire body buzzing with a restless energy.

He eats dinner with Mark, Mark’s mother and his older brother Johnny, and it’s all very normal expect for the fact that Mark’s ears are a brilliant red and Donghyuck is unusually quiet.

He has problems falling asleep that night, a burning beneath his skin that longs for something he doesn’t know. He sees Mark’s face every time closes his eyes and when he wakes in the night, there are the remnants of a dream lingering in the back of his mind that makes him go and have a cold shower.

Jeno notices in the morning.

“Did you pull an all-nighter something? You look like the grim reaper.”

“Oh, if I was the grim reaper you’d be dead already, trust me.”

Jeno snorts, about to say something else when a boy Donghyuck has never spoken to but has seen around walks up to him, looking a bit nervous.

“Can I speak to you?”

Donghyuck looks at Jeno, a bit confused.

Out of the corner of his eyes he spots a familiar figure walking up the stairs and finds his attention stolen away by Mark, who hasn’t spotted him yet and is in the middle of laughing at something. He’s with Jaehyun, who Donghyuck has met a handful of times before, but also with Yukhei, the foreign student who had said that he didn’t think they matched.

“Um…Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck tears his eyes from Mark and tries to focus on the person in front of him.

“Oh, right. Sure.”

He follows the boy out to the courtyard and wonders why he couldn’t have spoken to him with Jeno around as well.

A few seconds later it becomes obvious.

“I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me.”

Donghyuck blinks, caught off guard.

It’s the first ever confession he has gotten from a boy, and it surprises him enough to blurt it out during lunch to his group of friends.

Jaemin has just asked what he replied to the confession when Mark walks over to them with damp hair and a towel thrown around his neck, freshly showered after having had P.E.

Donghyuck perks up when he sees him and moves closer to Jaemin in order to make room for him to sit down next to him, feeling hyper-aware of Mark’s every move when he does. Their shoulders brush, and while Donghyuck still has room to move over and give Mark more space, he stays put, trying to stop the shiver he feels running down his spine.

Mark smells of soap.

“What are you talking about?” Mark asks, screwing the lid off his water bottle.

“Donghyuck just got asked out by a boy in his class.” Jeno explains.

It’s only because he is sitting right next to Mark that he notices that the words cause Mark to freeze. A few seconds pass before Mark speaks up again, sounding strangely neutral.

“What did you answer?”

“I said thank you but that I wasn’t interested.”

“Ah.”

Donghyuck wonders if Mark feels okay, because there is something about him that feels a bit off.

Mark gives a strange smile.

“Always popular.”

Donghyuck frowns.

“Don’t you have anyone you like, though?” Jeno asks him, and Donghyuck is a bit confused by the question since he obviously would have accepted a confession if he had liked the person confessing to him romantically. But while all the people confessing to him had seemed nice, that was simply not the case.

“Not really.”

Mark sits quiet beside him, looking a bit odd, but then he lets out a laugh that doesn’t sound the slightest bit happy at all.

“Figures,” is all he says.

“Mark, you coming?”

Donghyuck turns to find Yukhei looking down at them curiously, and Donghyuck can’t stop himself from glaring at him even if he tries.

Mark nods, not looking at Donghyuck as he says goodbye and spends the next few days avoiding him.

He doesn’t ignore him to a point that it is obvious, to the point that Donghyuck can actually demand him to tell him what the problem is. Mark still smiles at Donghyuck when they pass each other in the hallways and answers his texts –but he says that he is busy when Donghyuck asks if he wants to come over and he doesn’t initiate text messages or send him his usual good-morning snaps.

Not having the option to spend time with Mark like he usually does on Friday nights, he accompanies Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun to a party. It starts off like any other party he’s been to, with the four of them just lounging around and occasionally chatting with people they have never met before, but then Renjun suggests playing truth or dare and things spiral from there. Someone dares Jeno and Jaemin to kiss and Donghyuck has to watch as Jeno leans over and makes out with Jaemin for a good ten seconds before someone hoots and says that the mission is cleared.

Donghyuck stares at them in shock, and when he asks Jeno about it later, Jeno simply replies that they used to practice making out since none of them wanted to be terrible kissers and that it was no big deal.

For some reason it makes Donghyuck think of Mark.

He doesn’t think that Mark has kissed anyone, but between the two of them Mark has always been the more secretive one and it wouldn’t be too impossible. Not with the way people seem to naturally gravitate towards him.

It bothers him enough that he mentions it the next time they hang out, when Mark has finally stopped avoiding him and Donghyuck feels like he can finally breathe again.

“Would you kiss me if someone dared you to?” He asks and wonders why he has to force the words out of his mouth when he wouldn’t even have thought twice about asking the question to Jaemin or Renjun. Wouldn’t have cared what they had answered.

Mark is always a different story though, always has been. His mother used to tease Donghyuck when he was younger that if he paid half as much attention to his classes that he did to Mark, he could become the next Einstein.

“Donghyuck.” Mark says, exasperated, and Donghyuck can tell that he isn’t really in a great mood because normally he would have only rolled his eyes and smiled. He also knows that Mark has a way of living in his own head, not letting what he really feels shine through, and that the best way to figure out what is bothering him is to simply annoy him until he cracks.

“What?” He asks.

“Stop joking around. It’s not funny.”

Donghyuck looks at him, ignoring the sudden weight settling on top of his chest at Mark writing his question off as a joke.

“I’m not joking.”

Mark ignores him, going back to trying to solve his math problem.

“Why, are you scared?” Donghyuck taunts, and it sounds more bitter than he had wanted it to.

“No.”

“I bet you’re only scared since you don’t know how to kiss.”

Mark clenches his jaw, and Donghyuck finds himself staring at his jawline for a second longer than he should, throat suddenly dry.

“I can.”

“I bet you’ve never even kissed someone.” Donghyuck mutters, ignoring the fact that he himself has never kissed anyone either.

“Yes, I have.”

Donghyuck glares, trying to decipher if Mark is showing any signs that he is lying or if he is actually being honest. Tries to stop the vicious jealousy that he suddenly feels.

“Liar. A kiss wouldn’t matter so much to you if you had.”

This time it is Mark’s turn to glare at him, but Donghyuck glares back and continues pushing, not able to help himself.

“I bet you suck at kissing, and the only reason you wouldn’t kiss me is because you’re scared that I would be better than you.”

Something in Mark snaps, because one second later he is pressing his lips against Donghyuck harshly. Donghyuck has his eyes open, shocked, as Mark curls his hand around his neck and moves closer. The kiss stars off rigid, Mark just wanting to prove a point, but then it softens.

It only last for a few seconds before Mark withdraws, round eyes wide and nervous like he can’t believe that he just did that.

Donghyuck’s lips tingle, still feeling Mark’s lips against his own, and before he can stop himself, before he can overthink it, he latches onto Mark’s collar and kisses him again. Mark makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat that Donghyuck wants to hear again, and while their kissing lacks technique, Donghyuck decides that kissing is much better than he had thought that it would ever be.

Kissing Mark is wet and addicting.

It tastes like the peppermint gum Donghyuck had offered him, and something entirely Mark that has Donghyuck wanting to kiss him even deeper, blood running wild in his veins.

They only separate when they both need to breathe, Donghyuck’s heart racing in his chest like it is trying to break out of his ribcage.

“I’m better than you are,” Mark says, breathless.

It takes a second until Donghyuck realises what Mark is talking about.

“Never.”

And from there on it kind of spirals.

Donghyuck lays sleepless for the second time in less than two weeks, not being able to get Mark out of his mind no matter how hard he tries. He usually thinks about Mark more than he thinks is normal, wondering what he is up to or who he is with, but it’s never been this intense, heart jumping every time his phone gets even the smallest of notifications.

But while he doesn’t sleep for even an hour that night, he doesn’t feel the slightest bit tired as he heads to school, feeling like he’s running on enough caffeine to run a marathon.

When Mark sends him a snap of his cereal and says good morning, Donghyuck wishes that snapchat saved pictures without having to screenshot them, and then spends way too long retaking pictures of various items in his room before simply sending Mark a black picture and then regretting it instantly.

Mark has basketball practice that afternoon but comes over after he’s had dinner, carrying his large backpack filled to the brim with homework like usual. But where they would usually play some music and then begin working on their homework, this time their homework lays abandoned, Donghyuck running his fingers through Mark’s hair and allowing his tongue to sneak between Mark’s lips.

Donghyuck can’t get enough of kissing Mark, enjoying the way Mark feels against him, the way it feels more intimate than anything they’ve ever done before. It doesn’t take long until he realises that he doesn’t have to limit himself to Mark’s lips, sucking hickeys on his neck and nibbling on his skin. Mark complains, telling him that he will leave marks, but doesn’t quite succeed in muffling the soft moans that escape his lips and eventually gives in, tilting his head to give Donghyuck better access to his neck.

“We need to do our homework if we don’t want to get reprimanded tomorrow,” Mark mumbles against his lips and Donghyuck groans, wondering who the biggest idiot among the two of them is: Mark, for thinking that now is the time to mention homework, or him, for liking Mark despite of it.

“Fine,” he mutters back, but steals a few more kisses before he pulls away, putting on the shirt that had ended up on the floor and feeling Mark’s gaze on him while he does.

When he sees Mark the next day in school, Mark is wearing his collar fully buttoned and almost popped. Beneath it he can spot a band-aid, suspiciously placed high up on his neck.

“What happened to your neck,” Donghyuck asks, blinking innocently. “Did you walk into something?”

He sees Mark’s jaw clench, unable to glare at him upright when they are surrounded by other people.

“Something like that,” Mark answers, and although Donghyuck tries not to make it too obvious, he can’t stop himself from walking over to Mark and resting his chin on his shoulders. There is a constant itch underneath his skin to touch Mark.

It takes longer than it usually does for Mark to push him away, and he catches Jeno glancing at the two of them, a thoughtful look on his face. When Donghyuck realises that he has left his bag in his classroom, Mark tells him that he will go look for it with him, telling some of the other members of the basketball team that he will meet up with them on the court.

When the door closes behind them Mark kisses him and then pushes him away.

“You’re so infuriating, I can’t believe you.”

Donghyuck laughs, feeling like his heart is floating, and pulls Mark closer.

“You’re no fun.”

Mark grumbles, but allows himself to be pulled into another kiss, hands once more to rest on Donghyuck’s nape who is beginning to suspect that Mark has some sort of thing for his neck.

Things continue like that for weeks, Mark and Donghyuck acting like everything is normal when they are surrounded by other people but then kissing when they are alone.

Donghyuck feels like he is on some sort of drug, too happy to even think about the fact that they haven’t talked about what it is they are doing until the first big basketball game of the season arrives in a flurry of excitement. Mark is busy the entire week leading up to it, practices stretching late enough for him to do nothing other than go home and crash.

Donghyuck buys some energy bars and leaves them in Mark’s backpack, knowing that he sometimes forgets to eat when he is focused on something, and sits together with his friends on the day of the game, having made home-made signs complete with embarrassing pictures of Mark and everything.

The opposing team is from a famous school some miles away, and they are better than Donghyuck had expected, leading by more than a few points during first two quarters. Their school barely manage to catch up in the third quarter, but by the fourth they are tied.

Donghyuck, who honestly doesn’t care much for sports, feels himself leaning forward in his seat, eyes focused on Mark who is easily one of the best players in his team.

With only a minute or two left, Yukhei manages to steal the ball from the other team and then passes it to Mark who throws the ball into the hoop with only seconds to spare. The entire court explodes in cheers and Mark’s smile is brilliant, lighting up his entire face. When Mark searches the crowd and spots Donghyuck he smiles even wider, and Donghyuck’s heart beats faster than he thinks it has ever done.

They smile at each other for a few long seconds before Mark is more or less tackled by Yukhei and the rest of his teammates, all gathering in a group hug.

When the group hug dissolves, Yukhei still has his arm slung around Mark, making him look tiny against his massive frame, and then he picks a protesting Mark up, swinging him around while laughing and cheering.

Some of the elation Donghyuck feels at having been the first-person Mark had searched for after scoring the winning shot fades, disappearing even further when he hears some of the people sitting next to him talking about the two of them.

“I wonder if they’re dating,” a girl named Hyunjin says while nibbling on some bread, and Renjun picks up on it.

“Yukhei is the same age as Mark, isn’t he?”

Jeno nods, and Renjun continues.

“I think they could easily match. I’m straight as a roller but even I can tell that Yukhei is a catch.”

“It would be kind of funny if Mark would be the first one out of all of us to find love,” Jaemin snorts, turning to Donghyuck in hopes of him finding the situation funny as well but being met with silence.

A heavy weight has settled over his chest, rendering it difficult for him to breathe, and while he had thought that he had known how jealousy had felt when it came to Mark, this new feeling is intense enough that it is the only thing he can focus on.

Mark laughs some more at something Yukhei says and Donghyuck wonders if Mark likes him back.

Mark comes to them after the game is officially over, sprinting over with a huge grin on his face. Jaemin is the first to congratulate him, followed by Renjun and Jeno, but when it is Donghyuck’s turn Mark looks surprisingly bashful.

Donghyuck chokes out a congratulation just as Yukhei walks into hearing distance with the rest of the team. Mark glances their way, and then grabs a hold of Donghyuck’s hand, telling him to follow him so they can go speak somewhere more private.

Donghyuck lashes out before he can stop himself, feeling as if someone had just ripped his heart out, absolutely miserable.

“What, don’t want Yukhei to know that you get hard from kissing your best friend?”

Mark looks startled, eyes wide and confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Not that it matters, but you could at least have told me that you had something going on with Yukhei.”

It’s a lie both because Donghyuck cares more than he should about who Mark kisses, but also because he isn’t actually sure he wants to know if Mark likes Yukhei. If he doesn’t tell him then Donghyuck can still pretend that Mark likes him, that there is even a small chance that his feelings might be reciprocated. That he won’t spend his entire life pining over someone who doesn’t like him back.

Mark stares at him for a few long seconds, looking as if Donghyuck had just slapped him, before speaking.

“I can’t believe I thought that you actually…I’m so stupid.”

Mark swallows, trying to gather himself.

“Yukhei and I don’t have anything going on,” Mark continues bitterly, “but you don’t get to act like this. You don’t get to play with my feelings like that.”

Donghyuck sees the exact second Mark withdraws from him, and it surprises him enough to melt through some of the anger, some of the heartbreak he feels.

Donghyuck has only seen Mark with that expression on his face once before, back when they had been children and a boy had stolen a pair of shoes and then tried to pin it on Donghyuck. The boy had apologised to him after the truth came out, and Donghyuck, who had been annoyed but not quite as good at holding grudges at seven as he was at eighteen, had eventually forgiven him. But while Donghyuck had accepted his apology, Mark, who usually forgave people without them even needing to apologise in the first place, had shut the boy down. He had stopped talking to him, and while he was never rude to the boy, he was also never anything other than cold towards him.

It had been Mark, not Donghyuck, who had made the boy stop asking if he could play with them, with the same close off expression on his face.

The only difference now is that Donghyuck knows Mark’s face better than he knows his own reflection in the mirror and can see the hurt he is trying to hide beneath it.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just screwed up massively.

“Whatever…thing we had going on is over.” Mark continues. “If you want to practice kissing than you probably won’t have any problem finding someone else to do it with.”

And then he disappears, and Donghyuck is left with a storm of emotions –relief from hearing that Mark wasn’t in a secret relationship with Yukhei, and overwhelming misery that he might have ended his relationship with Mark before it had technically even begun.

He wonders how he had gone from waking up smiling to a text message from Mark to feeling worse than he thinks he’s ever done, like his stomach has sunken to the ground.

Jeno approaches him, frown on his face.

“Hey, what—”

Donghyuck doesn’t stick around to hear what Jeno has to say, ending up outside on one of the outdoor benches. He only notices that Jeno has followed him outside when he sits down next to him.

“Not now—” Donghyuck manages, but Jeno cuts him off.

“You and Mark have something going on, don’t you?”

Donghyuck looks up to find Jeno staring at him with worry clear in his eyes.

“I…don’t think we do any more.”

“What did you do?”

At any other point Donghyuck would have punched Jeno for assuming that Donghyuck had been the cause of the problem, but this time he doesn’t even try to argue otherwise.

“I don’t know. I said that he liked Yukhei.”

Jeno sighs, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

“Wow, you are even more of an idiot than I thought you were.”

“Hey.”

“Look, I don’t think I’m the one you should speak to about this. It’s obvious that you like Mark, I think the best thing would be if you spoke to him.”

But that’s the thing.

Donghyuck doesn’t only like Mark, he loves Mark.

Loves Mark to the extent that it frightens him sometimes, that he tried for the longest period of time to ignore it.

Donghyuck can hardly even remember a time in his life where Mark hadn’t been present, where Donghyuck hadn’t cared more about Mark than he did anyone else, more than he probably did himself. He doesn’t know what to do if Mark decides that they can’t be around each other anymore.

It is one thing to think that he could write his feelings off as simply not wanting someone to steal his best friend, of being insecure that Mark would find someone new to share inside jokes with.

It is another to feel physically sick at the thought of Mark kissing someone else, of him calling someone else his boyfriend, of falling in love and building a life with someone that isn’t him.

_Donghyuck_ wants to be the one to call Mark his boyfriend, to be able to kiss him in public and actually have some sort of justified reason to be jealous or annoyed if someone tells him that his boyfriend looks good together with someone else. He wants to go on stupid bubble-tea dates with Mark and buy silly couple clothes, not simply being limited to kissing him when he is sure that no one is watching.

His feelings terrify him, and the idea of ever telling Mark about them and getting rejected petrifies him.

He also knows that Jeno is right and that Mark deserves a proper apology for blowing up at him and ruining the happiness he had felt at winning his tournament.

Donghyuck texts Mark, asking if they can talk, but when he doesn’t receive an answer within an hour he knows that Mark has probably turned it off or is ignoring him completely. The knowledge makes his stomach curl in on itself more than it already has, feeling vaguely ill.

He heads by Mark’s house after hearing Jaehyun say that Mark had said that he didn’t feel like going to the celebration party, knocking on the door with his heart in his throat. Mark’s mom answers the door, puzzled smile on her face as to why Donghyuck didn’t simply let himself in like he always did.

“Can I speak to Mark?”

“He headed out the door an hour ago. I figured he was going to see you.”

“Oh.”

Donghyuck pauses, wondering if he should simply head home and wait until Mark comes back, but then he realises that there is only really one place Mark can be.

Donghyuck finds Mark on the playground, the same playground they used to play in as children, a lonely figure in a black hoodie shooting hoops.

He looks sad, and Donghyuck wilts, approaching him nervously.

Mark freezes when he sees him, before his expression turns unreadable.

“You didn’t answer my calls.” Donghyuck begins as Mark stops bouncing the basketball, wrapping his arms around it and hugging it to his chest like it can protect him from Donghyuck.

“Yeah, I was kind of ignoring you.”

Donghyuck winces.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your game. I’m really sorry.”

When he looks up, Mark looks a mixture of fragile and angry.

“Why did you?”

Donghyuck opens his mouth, words on the tip of his tongue, but freezes.

“I…you know.”

Mark doesn’t reply, letting Donghyuck know that he will have to give him a proper explanation if he expects to be forgiven.

Donghyuck bites his lip.

“I was jealous,” He finally says, and can’t really bring himself to meet Mark’s eyes. “Hyunjin said that it looked like you and Yukhei were dating and it made me want to throw up.”

Donghyuck takes a deep breath.

“And I know that that doesn’t make it okay, and that I suck and am immature but you’re my hyung. My. And I know that you only kissed me because I dared you, but I like you. I like you so much.”

Mark’s eyes are wide, mouth opening and closing until he finally clears his throat.

“But…you said that you didn’t have anyone that you liked. That it didn’t matter who I kissed.”

“I was lying.”

Mark stares at him for a few seconds, and while he still looks shocked, Donghyuck doesn’t spot any anger or lingering hurt. Instead his mouth has formed a cute little “o”.

“You like me?”

“Hasn’t it been kind of obvious?” Donghyuck mutters, not meaning for it to sound so bitter. “I mean, I kind of kissed you?”

“I just thought you were bored and wanted to rile me up.” Mark answers.

Donghyuck winces, but when he looks up Mark’s eyes are soft. He takes a step forward, letting the basketball fall to the ground, and grabs on to the sleeve of Donghyuck’s jacket.

Donghyuck feels his heart speeding up. He wonders if he is misreading the situation or if Mark might possibly—

“I love you.”

Donghyuck sputters, necks burning, and wonders if he is dreaming.

“I—_Mark_—you can’t just say—really?” The words come out shaky.

Mark just stares at him with his round, sparkly eyes, and looks impossibly soft in his black hoodie.

Donghyuck’s entire heart stutters –wonders how he can love someone so much that he feels like he can hardly contain it in his body.

“Yeah. You’re Donghyuck. It’s different.”

Donghyuck recognizes the words as the words Mark had told him when they were younger, back when he’d been jealous over Jeno and Jaemin maybe stealing Mark away from him, and can’t stop himself from kissing Mark even if he tries.

He is familiar with the way Mark’s lips fit perfectly against his own, having kissed him more times that he can count, but it feels like they’re kissing for the first time, a new shyness to their kisses.

Donghyuck wonders if he has ever been as happy as he is right now.

When they pull apart Mark leans his head against Donghyuck’s shoulder, letting out a small laugh.

“I can’t believe you thought I had something going on with Yukhei,” he snorts. “He’s the only one on the basketball team with a boyfriend.”

Donghyuck huffs and kisses Mark again, mostly because he can.

He wonders if Mark, who goes from being cuddly one second to hating being touched the next, knows that being in a relationship with him will mean that he won’t simply be satisfied with sitting next to each other during lunches, that being together with him means that he will want even more cuddles and kisses.

“Not anymore,” Donghyuck grumbles, and Mark bites his lips, like he is trying to stop himself from smiling.

“No, I guess not.”

When Monday rolls around and he walks to school holding hands with Mark, he thinks that he probably won’t have to worry about Mark building a life with anyone that isn’t him.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed the story pls leave a comment! they offer comfort to my tortured soul.


End file.
